I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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