You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
