i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Never joke about your clitoris.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
