Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Randomize
