called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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