I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
