I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Even my vagina gasped.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
