you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
