Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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