Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
