You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
My ATM looks so different sober.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
