talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
