bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
My pussy is not your playground.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
