so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
