I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I smell like Dick and happiness
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
