we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
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