Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
