The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
This house was built for laser tag.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
