I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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