At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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