He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
