Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
