uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
