Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
