is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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