You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
