He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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