i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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