I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
