i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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