Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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