We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
We had to coat check the pizza.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
