the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
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