Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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