btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Randomize
