people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just found puke in my bra..
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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