And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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