Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
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