Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
