i jhust puked up my retainher.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize
