It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
