Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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