Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
