There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
