When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
this hospital has no fireball
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
