absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
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