Your dad touched me again.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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