but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
