he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
