I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My vagina is officially offended.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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