You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
