So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I believe in your delicious
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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