i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Too much gin, very little bucket
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
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