if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Sorry about my life...
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
