I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
