she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
they're like a gay fantastic four
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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