You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Randomize
