THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
