You can't special order awesome
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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