I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
