we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
