i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
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