After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize