I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize