How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
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