She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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