I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
