he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
