my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
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