There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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