i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize