I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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