The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Randomize
