My friends, they love my intelligence
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
Randomize
