..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
