Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
