No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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